Ring! Ring!
Me: I.T. Department, after hours line. This Daniel. How can I help you?
Caller: Hey, Dan! It’s me, Gordon.
Me: Hello, Gordon. How can I help you?
Gordon: Dude, I need you to fix my website.
Me: Uhm … OK. What’s going on with your website?
Gordon: I’m not sure. It’s not displaying.
Me: OK. Let me take a quick look … and … wow … OK. You have a problem. What happened?
Gordon: Well … I hired a new web guy. He told me that WordPress was crap and that I needed to switch the backend to something else and that it all would import and the site he showed me as being his were gorgeous! And his price was reasonable. So, I bought his package. $1750 for what others might charge $2500 for as a website.
Me: OK. And the massive penis you have as a front page is there, because … ?
Gordon: It did not import the old site, correctly. He started by blaming you and promised he would contact you about it. The next day he had the new back end in place. He forwarded an e-mail from you to him about how you were not helping him because he was stealing away your client. But when I was reading it, it just … it just did not feel like you, ya know?
Me: Yeah, I know that feeling.
Gordon: So, I found that training e-mail you sent out about identifying phishing, right? And the e-mail address was not yours. And the English was not quite ‘right’. And it was just ‘wrong’.
Me: OK. Then what happened?
Gordon: He wanted MORE money, because the import did not happen correctly. He wanted me to authorize movement of my domain to his servers that were ‘set up correctly’ he says. When I told him to just restore my old site, he told me could not and that I had to move forward with this. When I told him no, he put that … that THING on my front page. If you click on it, you will see a page he wrote up about how I breached a contract agreement and how others should not do business with me. This pissed me off and I’m sorry, but I called another hosting provider.
Me: I understand. You were upset was being told that what you paid him was not going to bring you value, based upon what he was telling you. I get it. Continue, please.
Gordon: Well, this other host told me that you a reseller of their servers. And they could certainly work with you to get my domain moved to my own hosting account. They did a little digging and found out this guy has done this before. He offers to rebuild a website, gets halfway through some bogus situation, then blackmails the owner for more and more money.
Me: That is what I was starting to think it was. So, you setup your own hosting account and want me to help you transfer it over?
Gordon: No. I want you to keep hosting it. And I want to know if you get my old site back?
Me: OK. Let’s find out. How long ago did the blackmailer replace WordPress with this other engine?
Gordon: I paid for it on Friday. He worked on it Saturday. The fake e-mails were on Sunday. And early this morning, the penis arrived.
Me: OK. I should be able to. Let me check the backups. Give me a minute, OK?
Gordon: If is means getting my site back, take 10 moments, if that is what you need.
Me: Ok. Be right back.
A couple of minutes later, I take Gordon off hold.
Me: OK, Gordon. I’ve got good news. I still have a recent backup of your site. The bad news it is from last Wednesday, when I was in it last for updates to WordPress and the plugins.
Gordon: how is that bad news? That sounds great to me!
Me: It means that anything you added to your site between 3AM eastern on Wednesday morning and Saturday when they took control of your site will be lost. If you have a blog post or similar, you will have to publish it, again, as though it was never published.
Gordon: OK. Sounds fine to me! How long will it take to restore it? And can you do ANYTHING about that front page, before then?
Me: Give me a minute, and I will let you know.
Gordon: Thanks, you are the best.
Me: OK. All web engines have been removed and databases reset. Another minute … and WordPress is re-installed, again. Adding the backup plugin, now … authenticating the connection to the backup data store … And the restore is running.
Gordon: Oh, thank God! That penis is gone.
Me: OK, the backup is nearing completion.
Gordon: THAT fast?
Me: Yeap! This is part of why I like this particular backup solution. It just works.
Gordon: So … ? When will my site be ready for traffic, again?
Me: Now.
Gordon: OH, SHIT! Man, you are the best!
Me: Glad to help, Gordon. Just remember you said all that, when you get the invoice, alright?
Gordon: Oh, yeah! Say, do you know anyway to get my money back?
Me: Talk with your banker. See if you have any kind of fraud insurance on your credit or debit card. They may be able to help to get all or at least some of your money back. If it is an over-seas charge, that may make things more difficult.
Gordon: OK, I will do that. I will call them, first thing in the morning. And thank you so much for fixing this, so quickly.
Me: Glad to be able to help, Gordon. And if you are still wanting to get a facelift for your site, let me know. I know a handful of veterans who may be able to help. Good luck with the bank and have a good night.
Gordon: Good night, Dan. I owe you one!